Friday, September 21, 2012

The Label Trap: How Men Categorize Women



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mirabelle Summers <news@meetyoursweet.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2012 at 6:20 AM
Subject: The Label Trap: How Men Categorize Women



   Hi, Jorge,

   Do you ever see women who are REALLY successful
with men in action, and wonder what their secret
is?

   Do you ever see women you think are less
 attractive than yourself getting more attention
from men than you do?

   Would you like to know how to be one of those
"successful women"?

   Then I invite you to take a moment and check
out this book:

http://www.meetyoursweet.com/selfconfidence/women/index.php

   You'll learn what the number-one most CRUCIAL
ingredient is for success with your career, your
friendships, your relationships, dating, and men
in general. A hint: it's called SELF-CONFIDENCE.

   It's the most critical aspect of a happy and
fulfilled life. You NEED to get a handle on this.

   To find out why it's so important, and how YOU
can become more self confident starting RIGHT NOW,
I recommend you take a look.

   I'd like to take a moment now to talk about how
men categorize women - and what YOU can do to
avoid negative categorization. (It can make the
difference between a man feeling that "I HAVE to
talk to that woman" attraction, and sheer
indifference.)

   So let me ask you a question: would you like to
avoid shooting yourself in the foot with guys
before you even begin?

   Of course you would.  So you'll want to make sure
you don't fall into the Label Trap.

   In case you've never heard of the Label Trap,
let me explain what I mean.

   In the dating world, guys that have been single
or dating on and off for awhile develop pretty
thick skins. They get used to a certain amount of
rejection, game-playing, and general time-wasting
unpleasantness.

   They NEED this thick skin in order to retain
their sanity, after getting knocked back time and
time again ... or after having relationship after
relationship fail.

   But one thing that's NOT so good about this
cavalier attitude towards dating is that, in order
to save themselves unnecessary effort, anxiety,
and a possible let-down, men who've been active on
the dating scene for awhile often start to
CATEGORIZE women.

   They pigeonhole them after just a few seconds'
appraisal, based on their looks or a few giveaway
habits.

   In other words: how you come across to guys in
the first few seconds makes a BIG difference in
their overall attitude towards you.

   It affects whether or not you get approached.
It affects the KIND of man that'll approach you.
And it'll determine his attitude towards you when
he DOES approach.

   This is why it's necessary for you to put your
BEST foot forward, and make sure that you're being
the most attractive "you" that you can genuinely
be.

   At this point, you  might wonder, "But why
can't I just be myself? Why do I have to be
conscious of the way I come across? Isn't the
whole point of dating to find someone who likes me
FOR MYSELF?"

   My answer? Yes, of course it is. But let's be
honest here! A lot of this is pure common sense.
When you get right down to it, you want to portray
your BEST and most ATTRACTIVE self to prospective
suitors.   If you were going to a job interview,
you wouldn't expect your interviewers to hire you
for "who  you are", would you?

   No, of course not. You'd dress the part, you'd
make sure you were on your best behavior, and
you'd act in an appropriate way that showcased
your best abilities and personality traits.

   You wouldn't feel as though you weren't being
"true to yourself", or as if you were manipulating
your potential employer, by deliberately dressing
and acting the part.

   If you want to make the cut, you've gotta be
the BEST "you" that you can be!

   Dating is JUST the same. You aren't going to be
"covering up" any aspects of your personality, or
pretending to be someone that you're not.

   You ARE going to be making the most of your
GOOD points, and allowing your less attractive
ones to fade into the background.

   Allow me to illustrate. Here's a real-life
example of the Label Trap at work.

   ****** CLIENT LETTER ******

   Hi Mirabelle,

   I was out with a group of girlfriends the other
night at a popular singles bar. All my friends got
approached and asked to dance, except for me. It
was really humiliating.

   I know I could have got up and asked someone to
dance myself, or danced without a partner ... but
after seeing everyone else get asked apart from
me, my heart just wasn't in it.

   Here's the worst part: one of my friends took
pity on me and asked the guy she was dancing with
why none of his friends had picked me. And guess
what he said??  He said that I looked like an "ice
princess" and that his friends had me pegged for
someone that would probably be quite high
maintenance.

   Mirabelle, I must admit that I'm completely
flabbergasted.  I know I wasn't having the best
time, but I hardly think it's fair for me to be
labeled a "sour-face" just because I didn't get
asked to dance. If someone had got their act
together and asked me, I would have cheered right
up and gone back to being my real happy
flirtatious smiling self again.

   What I want to know is, how can I find someone
who's actually going to "get" me for who I am, and
not just write me off as an 'untouchable' at first
glance?

   Caroline

   Newark, NJ

   ****** MY RESPONSE ******

   Caroline,

   You're going about this the wrong way.

   I understand that it's hurtful and aggravating
when people misread your mood or your personality.
But unfortunately, you've only got yourself to
blame here.

   In a perfect world, you could rely on men to
see past your exterior to the fun-loving good-time
gal ... you know, the one that lies beneath your
pouting expression, folded arms, and bored,
expectant expression.

   But unfortunately, the world is no more perfect
than you or I!

   So ... no, may not be "fair" that you got labeled
a sour-face because you were disappointed.

   And no, it ,may not be "reasonable" for you to
be written-off as a good potential date because
you happened to be having a bad night.

   But if you EVER want to have a wild, exciting,
and rewarding dating life, you've simply got to
pull your head in and be a bit more realistic!

   You cannot rely on "fairness" or "reason" to
get you success with men. It's about having a good
time, and showing everyone what a foxy, attractive
woman you REALLY are.

   This may come as a shock to you, but as far as
men are concerned, it doesn't actually matter all
that much how pretty you are if you don't look
like you'd also be FUN.

   If you don't look like someone who'd be fun to
hang out with, and someone who knows how to enjoy
herself, then men are going to be turned RIGHT
OFF. It's as simple as that.

   FACT: in the dating game, you are judged and
evaluated on your appearance in the first few
moments of being seen.

   But does that mean that less physically-perfect
women are doomed to eternal failure? OF COURSE
NOT!!

   It's not just about LOOKS. It's about how you
PRESENT yourself. Your expression, your body
language, how animated you seem to be, whether or
not you're enjoying yourself ...

   ... all these things contribute to the impression
that you create for yourself.

   Let me paint you a quick picture here.

   Let's say you had the chance to relive your out
dancing over again. And let's say that, THIS time,
you made a conscious decision to live "in the
moment" and not let the fact that you didn't get
asked to dance drag you down.

   Let's say you decided to have fun no matter
WHAT happened, and that instead of sitting there
feeling sorry for yourself, and letting the
corners of your mouth drag on the floor, you got
up and boogied down with your girlfriends on the
floor.

   OR, you walked over to the bar and ordered a
really interesting-sounding cocktail ... and
possibly struck up a conversation with the
bartender.

   OR, you decided to get on the good side of the
bouncers (always a good idea!) and went and
chatted to them for awhile.

   OR, you decided to be an independent woman, and
went and asked someone to dance, yourself.

   OR, you went to the ladies' room, touched up
your lip gloss, and had a good heart-to-heart with
some of the other women in there about the trials
and tribulations and successes and funny stories
of life on the dating scene.

   You get the idea.

   My point is that, if you had done ANYTHING to
take responsibility for your OWN NIGHT ...

   ... instead of placing all your hopes on somebody
ELSE to "rescue you" from wallflower hell ...

   ... then you'd have had a MUCH better time.

   And, when you're having a good time on your own
terms, and you're not relying on anybody else to
provide you with a good night, a funny thing
starts to happen.

   You begin to feel incredibly liberated and
empowered. You realize that you don't actually
NEED a man to have a fantastic time. Sure, you can
still WANT one - but you don't NEED one.

   And when we admit to ourselves that, actually,
we ARE okay without a man, guess what happens?

   That level of self-confidence,
self-fulfillment, and genuine happiness absolutely
RADIATES from us - and it's what men find THE MOST
ATTRACTIVE OF ALL.

   Not only do they love a challenge ("She doesn't
need me? I'll show her!") but happiness is sexy.
People want to be around others who are having a
good time.

   When you're authentically enjoying yourself -
not because you might get something out of it, or
because you're trying to manipulate somebody, but
when you're GENUINELY having a great time - people
are drawn to you like moths to a flame.

   Men, in particular, are naturally attracted to
bubbly, smiley, good-time girls.     When you
portray yourself as a woman who's got a full,
exciting, and interesting life, you're at your
most attractive.

   This is why, from the picture you've painted
me, I'm not entirely surprised that you didn't get
asked to dance!

   Single men are often spoiled for choice. There
are LOTS of foxy, irresistible women out there to
choose from - women who look like they'd be fun to
hang out with, women who know how to have a good
time, women who would be what I call 'high-value
companions.'

   These women make it EASY for men to enjoy
themselves in their company. They're
low-maintenance. And that's attractive.

   Is it surprising, then, that you got overlooked
in favor of women who weren't sitting around
wishing that someone would come and make their
night better for them?

   Men will sum you up quickly in the first few
moments of seeing you. It only takes a few
"warning signs" before they'll write you off
completely - no matter how pretty you are.

   These "warning signs" might include things
like:

   - Slouching in your seat

   - Picking your fingernails

   - Sighing a lot

   - Looking bored

   - Checking your watch frequently

   - Playing with your phone frequently, sending
lots of text messages

   - Yawning a lot

   - Staring into space

   A woman who's doing any of these is making it
clear that she's going to be kind of a drag to
hang out with.

   She looks like someone who's totally disengaged
from their environment.

   Someone who's living inside her own head,
instead of being 'in the moment.'

   Someone who would require a lot of effort, to
just hang out with!

   On the OTHER hand, a woman who is doing things
like:

   - Looking interested and engaged in her
surroundings

   - Making eye contact with other people

   - Smiling a lot

   - Talking animatedly with her friends or other
people around her

   - Dancing

   - Looking relaxed and comfortable, whether
she's with others or by herself

   ... is almost GUARANTEED to get approached by
interested men.

   Now, I know that when you've been sitting by
yourself for awhile, that all of your friends are
off having a great time, and you're actually not
having a great time, it can be a real challenge to
SEEM as though you're enjoying yourself.

   This is when you need to remember this basic
truth: YOU DON'T NEED A MAN TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

   And when you really internalize this truth, all
those horrible feelings of frustration, neediness,
confusion, anxiety, and "why haven't I attracted
anyone yet" will just DISAPPEAR.

   And what will be left?

   A calmer, more relaxed, more engaged, MORE
ATTRACTIVE you.

   This is exactly what I mean when I talk about
putting your best foot forward, and being the most
attractive "you" that you can be. Simply smiling,
having fun, and being relaxed is one of the
easiest and most naturally attractive things you
can do.

   Incidentally, this is one of the fundamental
truths of attraction and seduction. Being a
seductive woman is all about playing up your most
attractive features in a way that reflects your
best self, and attracts others to you.

   But this isn't easy to do by yourself. And if
you're a busy woman who wants more love in her
life, but doesn't have time to waste figuring out
the best ways to meet and attract the right men,
then I've got just the thing for you.

   The book is called "Seduction Genie", and it's
the single woman's ULTIMATE guide to classy
seduction.

   You can find it here:

   http://www.seductiongenie.com/

   Here's another handy truth for you: quite
often, when you ACT an emotion, it actually
becomes REAL.

   So if you're slumping in your chair, checking
your watch, and wishing that it was time to go
home, those feelings will simply intensify for
you.

   But if you decide to take responsibility for
your night and your mood, sit up straight, take an
interest in your surroundings, and decide to have
fun no matter WHAT happens, then your mood will
actually change for the better.

   Soon, you won't have to ACT like you're
enjoying yourself any more - because you actually
WILL be enjoying yourself.

   It may be an ugly truth that men make judgments
about our personalities, and our value as a
potential mate, as soon as they see us.

   But we're all guilty of exactly the same thing.
And here's what I mean.

   Who would you go for - the man sitting in the
corner, hiding behind the potted plant, avoiding
eye contact and fidgeting repeatedly with his
watchstrap ...

   ... or the guy sitting with a big group of
friends, laughing and having a great time, talking
to others and enjoying himself?

   It's a no-brainer, really.

   So if you want to do yourself a favor, you'll
understand that your behavior COUNTS. You can't
rely on the men out there to see past your
slumped, aloof-looking exterior to your Inner
Party Girl.

   You have to make it EASY for them. And you can
do this best by consistently making your good
points as obvious as possible!

   I'll talk to you again soon.

   Your friend,

   Mirabelle Summers
   MeetYourSweet.com

   P.S. If you'd like to see the full range of
courses and programs that we've developed to help
you enjoy immediate, lasting success with men,
dating, and relationships, then you should take a
look at our product catalog.

   You can check it out here:

   http://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/


**************************************************
   About the authors:

   Mirabelle Summers and Slade Shaw are the
inimitable  duo of dating and relationship experts
at  MeetYourSweet.com.  Their fresh and engaging
approach to women's relationship advice,
particularly in empowering women to achieve
spiritual and physical transformations in their
personal lives, social lives, and all interactions
 with men, has inspired and strengthened their
followers the world over.

   MeetYourSweet.com is a network dedicated to
giving you the ultimate toolkit to creating the
success you crave with men AND with life. No
matter who you are, we can help you become the
absolute best you can be at relating with the
opposite sex. MeetYourSweet has thousands of
satisfied customers who have used their life tools
 to help them kickstart their personal and social
transformation.

      Your new life starts today at:

      http://www.meetyoursweet.com

****************************************************





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